I am willing to contort myself
prop up on all fours, drape
across the fever heat of his body
like a tray table--time for lunch
drop my nipple straight into his
wild hungry mouth. But he doesn’t want me
that way. Everything on his own terms
how dare I take our private show
on the road
there’s no space to
pull over, release, breathe, feed
milk and tears pulsing forward
while traffic stands still
We’ve seen this stretch of highway
countless times
just months ago
back home for the baby shower
tiny pointless shoes
soft blankets, stuffed bears
cardboard books with handwritten notes
Congratulations on beginning life’s most beautiful journey!
Enjoy the ride!
We can make this trip with our eyes closed
I have never felt
so lost
prop up on all fours, drape
across the fever heat of his body
like a tray table--time for lunch
drop my nipple straight into his
wild hungry mouth. But he doesn’t want me
that way. Everything on his own terms
how dare I take our private show
on the road
there’s no space to
pull over, release, breathe, feed
milk and tears pulsing forward
while traffic stands still
We’ve seen this stretch of highway
countless times
just months ago
back home for the baby shower
tiny pointless shoes
soft blankets, stuffed bears
cardboard books with handwritten notes
Congratulations on beginning life’s most beautiful journey!
Enjoy the ride!
We can make this trip with our eyes closed
I have never felt
so lost
Claire Taylor (she/her) writes about motherhood and mental health. Her work has appeared or is upcoming in Yellow Arrow Journal, Capsule Stories, Kissing Dynamite, American Writer's Review, Canary Literary Journal, and more. She lives in Baltimore, Maryland, and can be found online at clairemtaylor.com, Twitter: @ClaireM_Taylor and IG: @todayweread.