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issue 4: MIXTAPE

what i have
is who i
carry home

STEVE MERINO
after 8 (circle)—Bon Iver
The weather app promised            clear skies 
              & I said more because            don’t our bodies 
require heat?            When my back split open 
              from sunburns,            out poured 
the Chippewa river & a siege            of herons. 
              I haven’t been sleeping;            thankfully you
apply aloe while I            contemplate dirt roads. 
              Maybe I’ll never stop            picking these
mosquito bites;            what a way to feel 
              closer to god. Are we done            apologizing? 
Memory loops            of our past as I watch 
              live performances from            those summers 
in the woods. A lot           is at sky height.            
              Remember that storm            in Eau Claire & how 
we huddled together            under a cheap poncho?
              Our own cave. Eventually            we emerged 
to our tangled breaths            running away.
              My mother asked            about marriage again. 
I’m tired            of constantly justifying 
              every promise            I make to you in silence.
How you            are forever my favorite blue 
              & every shade            hiding in the gamut. 
I keep returning            to the line what I have
              & haven’t held            & the way you laugh
at the coffee I spill on the kitchen floor;            a river
              ​carrying our two            bodies home.

Steve Merino (he/him) is a poet from Saint Paul, MN. His work can be found in Ghost City Review, the Under Review, and others. Full publications listed at linktr.ee/steve_merino. Follow him on Twitter @steve_merino.
perhappened mag
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header photo: ian battaglia (unsplash)

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