i thought i was going to projectile vomit out of the car window
going 70 miles per hour
on the highway pulling us deeper into the gray of rural indiana
to see a college i knew
i didn’t want to attend but all the same my mother insisted we still
go to south bend
waste a whole day of spring break on a bleak campus without friends
but the night before
i decided to get drunk for the first time and also to get high for the first
time at the same time
with friends who i don’t talk to anymore but all the same we were
so happy that night
eating off brand oreos while the sun set and the chemicals hit too
hard in our heads
we ran around the empty street performing all the school plays to
flickering street lamps
and when i got driven home at 10 pm because we all had curfews
(i didn’t but i was scared)
i told my dad i took too much cough syrup before falling up
the stairs and into bed
i got torn from a dream at 5 am and the one thing i could remember
was the aquarium test
we were sitting in that garage taking hits and someone asked me
if i knew what it was
i giggled and said no and then someone else asked me what my
favorite sea creature is
then someone else asked me what my qualifications to work at this
aquarium are why am
i interested in working at this aquarium and i guess the point is to
see how far gone you are
i guess the point is to ask without asking if your head
is still above water
going 70 miles per hour
on the highway pulling us deeper into the gray of rural indiana
to see a college i knew
i didn’t want to attend but all the same my mother insisted we still
go to south bend
waste a whole day of spring break on a bleak campus without friends
but the night before
i decided to get drunk for the first time and also to get high for the first
time at the same time
with friends who i don’t talk to anymore but all the same we were
so happy that night
eating off brand oreos while the sun set and the chemicals hit too
hard in our heads
we ran around the empty street performing all the school plays to
flickering street lamps
and when i got driven home at 10 pm because we all had curfews
(i didn’t but i was scared)
i told my dad i took too much cough syrup before falling up
the stairs and into bed
i got torn from a dream at 5 am and the one thing i could remember
was the aquarium test
we were sitting in that garage taking hits and someone asked me
if i knew what it was
i giggled and said no and then someone else asked me what my
favorite sea creature is
then someone else asked me what my qualifications to work at this
aquarium are why am
i interested in working at this aquarium and i guess the point is to
see how far gone you are
i guess the point is to ask without asking if your head
is still above water
Anisha Narain (she/her) is a queer Tamil-American poet and creator studying computer science and creative writing at the University of Illinois. She has recently been published in Ayaskala Literary Magazine, and has work forthcoming in giallo lit. In her spare time, she likes to sing, act, and add to her collection of quirky jewelry. Find her on Twitter and Instagram @anarain00.