CW: references to trauma, infidelity
sorry
my trauma is mammoth.
sorry
i can’t cement & make concrete
the details of how i became
prey
i’m sorry
when you reached
for my shoulder
i’d tundra
sorry
the smolder of another man’s eyes
warmed more
than frostbitten lips
if you knew my skeleton
had to relearn
how to bud & bloom & why
i tucked predators
into my jellyfish skin,
maybe then—
i’m sorry
sometimes
when you’d kiss my neck
i turn my head towards
him.
ash scatter & ghost wind.
you were never supposed to fossil
crumble beneath my shame
i had faith
that trust
woolly & tusked
would survive
the cold age.
my trauma is mammoth.
sorry
i can’t cement & make concrete
the details of how i became
prey
i’m sorry
when you reached
for my shoulder
i’d tundra
sorry
the smolder of another man’s eyes
warmed more
than frostbitten lips
if you knew my skeleton
had to relearn
how to bud & bloom & why
i tucked predators
into my jellyfish skin,
maybe then—
i’m sorry
sometimes
when you’d kiss my neck
i turn my head towards
him.
ash scatter & ghost wind.
you were never supposed to fossil
crumble beneath my shame
i had faith
that trust
woolly & tusked
would survive
the cold age.
Michael Russell (he / they) is Mama Bear to chapbook Grindr Opera (Frog Hollow Press). He’s queer, has BPD, Bipolar Disorder and way too much anxiety. His work has appeared in Arc Poetry Magazine, Heavy Feather Review, Homology Lit, Plenitude among other places. He lives in Toronto and thinks you’re fantabulous. Instagram: @michael.russell.poet.