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issue 1: CARNIVAL

shadow puppets

EMILY UDUWANA
​We sit in the shadows 
of a carnival tent 
and you tell me:
one day we will emerge 
from a chrysalis,
leave behind the fabric 
of these canopy walls,
and take flight.

But even as your hands 
cast shadows 
on these canopy walls,
you make no reference
to butterflies.

We both know, 
even now,
that we are tied 
to the shadows,
that we will never assume the form
of anything so beautiful 
as a butterfly.

Instead,
we will emerge 
as polyphemus moths,
tossing our bodies 
with abandon 
at the nearest possible light-source,
consuming our own life-force
in the process.

We will not emerge 
for any real 
extent of time.

Instead,
we will be drawn 
without resistance
to the standing lanterns 
that guard the edges 
of these fairgrounds,

and there
we will bask 
in the fluorescent glow
of the ferris wheel,
warming our wings 
in the lanterns’ bright light,

and there
we will find ourselves 
snuffed out,
undoubtedly 
by something greater 
and more beautiful
than two moths 
hovering before a lantern,

or two children 
casting shadow puppets
on the fabric walls 
of a carnival tent.

Emily Uduwana is a poet and short fiction author with recent publications in Miracle Monocle, Eclectica Magazine, and the Owen Wister Review. She is currently based in Southern California, where she studies history as a Ph.D. student at the University of California, Riverside.
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header photo: yaniv knobel (unsplash)
​

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